Are you a Super Woman?

I often hear people talking about “Super Women” who can ‘do it all’ - but what about the rest of us who can’t do it all?

Every day I see women giving themselves a hard time for not living up to the Super Woman ideal. This International Women’s Day #IWD2017, it’s time that we embrace the idea that being a Super Woman doesn’t have to mean doing it all. In fact – how about defining a “Super Woman” as someone who does what she can, with what she has, and supports other women to be their own kind of Super Woman?

When I think of Super Women in my life, they come in many forms. Just a few include:

• the colleague who juggles work and children, and still finds time to mentor and encourage others
• the young assistant who has decided to go back to University to study law while still working fulltime
• the family member who had her first child in her early 20’s, her fourth child in her early 40’s, went through 2 separations and then got her degree and dream job
• the client who, in the middle of an ugly divorce, came up with a genius way of getting her daughter to give up her dummy
• the friend who spent many of her single years caring for her mother and grandfather
• the single mother that works full time, cares for her son, and also manages to volunteer at his school and coach his sporting team – all while having fabulous lashes!
• the junior lawyer who gave up her free time on Australia Day to go the extra mile for a client
• the fellow professional who has a little one, and one on the way, and still manages to look like she’s just walked off a movie set
• the many women I know who have struggled with depression, and still manage to get out of bed most days

And then there is me – I’m a 34 year old lawyer, working in family law in Canberra. I am also a Director of the firm that I’ve been with since I started my career. I have a partner, pets and a house, but no kids. I don’t have a lot of the other stresses that some women have. By the usual definition, I can’t be a Super Woman because I don’t have kids and don’t do it all. But I think sometimes I am a Super Woman. We all are.

Some weeks, I’ve worked multiple 12 hour + days, pre-cooked meals for the week, babysat for friends, taken care of my multiple animals, worked on my client’s cases at 3am, painted the fence, remembered to call my mother, done the dishes, taken some ‘me’ time and just generally been awesome.

Other weeks, I’ve been impressed to get through the day without a run in my stockings.

Hey, I’m human. I can’t always be a Super Woman. No one can.

So maybe it’s time women gave each other, and more importantly ourselves, a break.

While writing this, I heard Emma Watson on the news say “Feminism is not a stick to beat other women with.” Very true. It’s also not a stick to beat ourselves with.

So give yourself a break and acknowledge the great things you do.

You ARE a Super Woman.

Originally published as "Super Women ?" at http://www.fgd.com.au/super-women/

Happy International Women's Day

Today is international women's day. But what does this actually mean for me: a single 30 year old woman living and working in Canberra Australia? 

To be honest, most years it means attending a breakfast or lunch seminar where we hear about some of the great achievements women have made in the past. I then go back to work and continue with my day. 

This year, I missed out on the lunch, but it still gives me time to reflect on where I am in life.

Growing up in Australia, and having parents who are very focused on equality for everyone, I am extremely lucky. I was brought up to believe I can achieve anything I set my mind to, no matter what my sex/race/religion etc. Today I work in a job I love, in a firm which has about 80% women (pretty good numbers for a law firm).

That said, as great as we have it here in Australia compared to elsewhere in the world, as I get older, I get more cynical about whether woman are actually equal with men, particularly on a professional level. 

I still see the "boys club" environment in business. Deals done on the golf course, salary surveys which show men earn more than women for the same amount of work, women losing huge amounts of super when they take maternity leave, woman subject to different dress codes, being talked down to by men who assume we know less about business because we are female, etc etc.

But what I also see, is a new way of thinking from both sexes. One of acknowledging similarities, but also embracing differences. 

What I also see, is rather than women being bitter about the differences, they are being clever and creative in coming up with their own strategies to improve their position.

For someone in my position, it is about working smarter, rather than fighting harder.

So happy International Women's Day to everyone: men and women alike. We may be different in a number of ways, but at the end of the day we just want the best for ourselves and our families. For some of us, we just get there in a different way.